201: Sadie, Sadie

Dean: Where's you're mom?
Rory: In the kitchen, on the phone.
Dean: Beginning, middle, or end of a conversation.
Rory: Well, it concerns jewelry so there may not be an end to the conversation.
Dean: Good.

Dean: So this whole breaking-up thing, we tried it…
Rory: Yeah we did, didn't really work for me.
Dean: Me either.
Rory: Okay good, so it's decided: breaking-up not for us.
Dean: I mean hey, not that it's a bad thing. I'm sure some people like it.
Rory: Oh! Sure, Cher, Greg Allman. I bet they give it a big thumbs up.

Lorelai: It's nice to have you back.
Dean: Thanks. It's nice to be back.
Lorelai: We missed you.
Dean: I missed you guys too.
Lorelai: No, I mean we really, really missed you.
Dean: You need the water bottle changed don't you?
Lorelai: Desperately!

Lorelai: Oh my that coffee can is so high up there, whatever shall I do?
Dean: Coming!

Dean: You're house is great. It's huge. I've never seen a house this huge before.
Emily: Well thank you, so few people both to notice the hugeness of the house anymore.

Emily: So what would everyone like to drink?
Lorelai: Oh, well, I'll have a white wine, Dean will have a beer.
Dean: What?
Lorelai: Corona right?
Dean: No! I don't want a beer! I don't drink beer. I'll have water, or soda or anything, or nothing. Not beer, never beer, beer is bad.

Dean: I'm just going to site here and stare at my hands.

Dean: Should we do the beet thing again?
Lorelai: Uhh, I don't think so.

202: Hammers and Veils

Dean: Hey! You look good in dirt.

Rory: Dean this is about Harvard!
Dean: Oh, well excuse me. It's about Harvard, I forgot.

Rory: Why are you acting like this?
Dean: Like what?
Rory: Like your two!
Dean: Hey, I'm not going to Harvard. I could care less about Harvard. I just wanted to hang out with you. But relax. Since apparently I'm two, maybe I'll grow out of it.

Dean: So how are you?
Rory: I'm fine. How are you?
Dean: Me? I'm an idiot.

Rory: The only way you could be more important to me is if you had a Kit-Kat bar growing out of your head.
Dean: Well, I can't make any promises, but I'll give it a try.

203: Red Light on the Wedding Night

Dean: Well what movies haven't we seen?
Rory: We haven't seen just about all of them.
Dean: Ah, they all stink this year.
Rory: They definitely do underestimate out intelligence.
Dean: Plus they stink.
Rory: There are at least five of them featuring someone doing something disgusting with a cow.
Dean: Yeah, I mean they should at least do something disgusting with a different animal.

Dean: So a double date, with adults?
Rory: No, just with Mom and Max.
Dean: So what'll be, like dinner and Dancing?
Rory: Yes and then we'll enjoy brandy and cigars.

Dean: Their eating habits are just the start of what you're gonna have to get used too. There's tons of stuff you should be aware of.
Max: Really?
Dean: Oh yeah. Like don't ever use the last of the parmesan cheese. And never get into a heavy discussion late at night because that's when they're at their crankiest. Oh, and uh, go with their bits.
Max: Their bits?
Dean: Yeah like, if you're eating pizza with them and Lorelai decides that the pepperoni is angry at the mushrooms because the mushrooms have an attitude and then she hold up the pepperoni and the pepperoni asks for your opinion, don't just laugh. Answer the pepperoni.
Max: Answer the pepperoni.

Dean: Oh and uh, here's a big one. If you ever think they are doing something crazy, they're not. You see after a while their thinking becomes clear, but by the time it's clear they've already done two other totally crazy thing you can't figure out. So there's no catching up.
Max: You have much knowledge.

Lorelai: Oh, I'm so full! Why did you let me eat so much?
Max: Uh…
Dean: Yeah… They'll blame you.

206: Presenting Lorelai Gilmore

Rory: It's good hunh?
Dean: It's The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction.
Rory: Yes, and doesn't Neil Young look cool?
Dean: I guess.
Rory: And if you notice, he's wearing a tux.
Dean: Neil Young looks cool because he's Neil Young, not because he's wearing a tux.

Rory: I think you're going to look great in a tux!
Lane: Tails.
Dean: What?
Lane: Yeah, according to this it says that all escorting must be properly attired in black tails, white cummerbunds, and white gloves.
Dean: What?
Rory: I'm sure the gloves are optional.
Lane: No according to this.
Dean: Tails? Gloves?
Rory: Remember Neil Young…Remember that you love me…Remember that I'll be watching Battle Bots with you for a month.
Dean: Ugg, show me Neil Young again.

Miss Patty: Dean are you leading?
Dean: I have no idea.
Miss Patty: Okay, stop, stop, stop. Now remember one of the most important thing in ballroom dancing is to remember to spot, otherwise you're going to get dizzy. So what you want to do is you want to pick out something to focus on. I usually like to find a lonely seaman. Then when turning, whip your head around and find your spot again. Hello Sailor. Hello Sailor. Hello Sailor. Now you try it! Dean: You've got to be kidding me.
Rory: I think you can do it without the 'Hello Sailor.'
Dean: Rory!
Rory: Battle Bots.
Dean: For the rest of your life.

Lorelai: So how's it going?
Rory: Actually I'm not very good.
Dean: Yeah, which is really holding me back because I'm a natural.

Rory: Oh wait!
Dean: What's this?
Rory: You're gloves.
Dean: I thought you were kidding.
Lorelai: Oh no. Ladies never kid.
Dean: I think you look like a cotton ball.
Rory: Why thank you Jeeves.
Dean: But a very cute cotton ball.

Dean: Honestly the only thing I can thing of is taking off this tux.
Lorelai: Hey watch it; you're talking to a lady now.
Dean: Well how about if I do it at home?
Lorelai: Better.

208: The Inns and Outs of Inns

Rory: What's going on?
Dean: I don't know. I got here and this is what I found. I mean, I told him it looked fake but he didn't believe me.
Rory: And you have such an honest face.
Dean: Well, he must not love me as much as you do.
Lane: Okay, you two are officially sickening.

Dean: Yeah, it's to get my paycheck. If I don't get it by four Taylor locks it in a safe and it's on some kind of timer. And then when I complain he lectures me about promptly putting checks in the bank and the theories of compound interest and then my head hurts from all the nodding I do even though I don't listen…

209: Run Away, Little Boy

Tristan: Oops, God I am so sorry. I am such a klutz. Oh here, let me. This should cover it.
Dean: You know what? I hope for Rory's sake that you got an understudy.
Rory: Dean, hi!
Dean: Rory, what is he doing here?
Rory: I need to talk to you.
Dean: I got something to settle with this guy!

Dean: You must mean that young boy who got mysteriously strangled by a Doose's Market apron one night.

Dean: Well, it's my night off and I thought maybe I'd come by and watch.
Rory: Watch what?
Dean: Watch you.
Rory: Watch me do what?
Dean: Rehearse.

Dean: Rory come on I'll sit in the back, you'll die and I'll walk you home. It's no big deal, right?

Sookie: Are you sure this is Shakespeare?
Dean: What's with all the grunting?
Lorelai: I wish Luke was here, he could translate for us.

Dean: So did you and Paris actually kiss or what that like a stage thing?
Rory: A lady never kisses and tells.

210: The Bracebridge Dinner

Dean: Are you going to this big shin-dig at the Inn tonight?
Lane: Yeah I'm just trying to trick my mom into not going with me.
Dean: How's that coming along?
Lane: How's that Pixie's reunion coming along?
Dean: Well, I'll see you and your mom there.
Dean: It's just that he got into this fight with a guy at school and when I broke it up he started in on me.
Rory: He hit you?
Dean: He tried.

211: Secrets and Loans

Dean: Think fast…Very good.
Rory: You threw a basketball at my head.
Dean: No, I threw a basketball past your head.
Rory: What if I had turned around when you said that?
Dean: Then you might have caught it, there by completing the whole think fast equation.
Rory: I don't catch basketballs.
Dean: Duly noted.
Rory: I don't even like basketballs.
Dean: Okay, I'm very sorry.
Rory: In fact out of all the sporting balls in the world the basketball is probably my least favorite.
Dean: Rory.
Rory: They're round and hard.
Dean: Rory.
Rory: And they're orange.
Dean: You do realize how insane you sound right now.
Rory: Yes.
Dean: Okay, just checking.
Rory: I'm sorry. I'm in a horrible mood.
Dean: Hadn't noticed.

Rory: But this one is particularly crazy, I mean we have a situation here and she is being so stubborn.
Dean: Hunh.
Rory: What?
Dean: What, what?
Rory: What was with the ‘hunh?'
Dean: Nothing.
Rory: No, there was a meaning behind that ‘hunh.' That was a loaded ‘hunh.' That was not a normal ‘hunh,' you meant to say something with that ‘hunh' and now you're taking it back.
Dean: Okay, now –
Rory: Don't use that kind of ‘hunh' unless you are prepared to defend it….Why aren't you saying anything?
Dean: Because words are a very dangerous thing right now.
Rory: You were saying that I'm stubborn just like my mother.
Dean: I was saying that in addition to all of the wonderful, amazing qualities that the two of you share, there's possibly on occasion a similar tendency to dig your heals in.
Rory: That's for me not thinking fast.
Dean: Please never think fast again.
Rory: I'll try my hardest.

212: Richard in Stars Hallow

Rory: What'cha doing?
Dean: Just standing here.
Rory: Next to...
Dean: A car…You're car.

Richard: A car is not a model airplane young man.
Dean: I know that.
Richard: It is a complex vehicle.
Dean: I know that too.

Richard: And drive behind me. I don't want that thing blowing up right in front of the Jag.
Dean: No problem. Try to keep your electrical system working long enough to get there.

Dean: Look, I know you think I'm not good enough for Rory, but do you have to take it out on my car?

Richard: How tall are you?
Dean: Why? You wanna dance?
Richard: No, thank you. I appreciate the offer though.

213: A-Ticket, A-Tasket

Dean: I really hate that guy.
Rory: He didn't do anything.
Dean: He's here, he's breathing, that's enough.

Taylor: Let's start the bidding at $3.
Rory: Hey!
Dean: $5.
Lorelai: He's good, he is very good.

Jess: I gotta tell you, of all the nutty barn raising shindigs this town can cook up, this one wasn't half bad.
Dean: Glad you enjoyed it.
Jess: Yes I did. So shall we?
Dean: Shall we what?
Jess: Shall we go?
Dean: Go where?
Jess: Go eat.
Dean: Excuse me?
Jess: The person who buys the basket wins the company of the person who makes the basket for lunch. Basket, basket maker, guy who didn't bring enough money.

Dean: Don't go.
Jess: Geez man, she's not shipping off to Nam.
Dean: You so need to shut up now.

Rory: Please don't walk away like that.
Dean: Sorry, I'd do a silly walk but I'm not feeling very John Cleese right now.

Rory: Dean you're my boyfriend. I would never do anything to hurt you.
Dean: Yeah? Well, you're doing it right now.

215: Lost and Found

Rory: You look bored.
Dean: I'm Fine.
Rory: You sure you don't want to look around? They have great stuff here.
Dean: I looked.
Rory: For five minutes.
Dean: No I looked for 20 minutes and then I stopped and you continued for another 2 hours.

Dean: Smiling. Not at all bored.

216: There's the Rub

Rory: My, your lung capacity sure has improved.
Dean: Well, I've been playing a lot more basketball lately.
Rory: Yet another reason to continue the fight to keep physical education in school.

Dean: I'm not mad.
Rory: Good.
Dean: I'm confused, but I'm not mad.
Rory: Fine.
Dean: I'm a saint, but I'm not mad.

Dean: I know you want to be alone, so I'll only stay a minute. I just want to say hi.
Rory: We just said hi.
Dean: Well, I want to say hi a little closer.
Rory: But I'm a mess. Really, it's not pretty, you won't recognize me.
Dean: Well then put a nametag on because I miss you.

Dean: So Jess just dropped this off, hunh?
Rory: Oh, well…
Dean: Now I know you eat fast but this is a lot of food to put away that quickly, even on your best day.

218: Back in the Saddle Again

Luke: You gonna eat something?
Dean: Sure, yeah, I'll take the special omelet, I guess.
Luke: You put him up to this.
Lorelai: No, I did not!
Luke: Sure. You don't even know what's in it.
Dean: I'm not picky.
Luke: So you'll send it back after I make it.
Dean: No.
Luke: Right. I'll come back when I have time for this.

Rory: But if I'm doing my homework doesn't that defeat the point of me coming to see you play.
Dean: You can't glance up in between nialistic theories.

Dean: (Answering Machine) Hey it's me. It's 4:00, call me when you get home… Hey, it's 4:30, I'm home. Call me…Quarter to five, where are you? I'll try paging you…5:30, did you get my page? Call with the answer.
Rory: You're not all from him.
Dean: (Answering Machine) Hey, I totally forgot you were getting home at six.
Lorelai: And yet oddly even after remembering that information.
Dean: (Answering Machine) Hey, it's 5:45, and I just though I'd see if you got home early.
Lorelai: I swear that boy would make a good drinking game.

Dean: Just washing Rory's car,
Lorelai: I can see that.
Dean: Well, I mean I came by to see her and she wasn't here, so I was just going to wait on the porch, but then I noticed that her car looked dirty. So, I thought I'd wash it.
Lorelai: Hmm…
Dean: Because sometime things can get on your car like dirt, certain kinds of sap, It can get into your paint, makes it really hard to get off.
Lorelai: Sure…
Dean: Even water spots, you know after it rains. That can be a real problem.

220: Help Wanted

Dean: What?
Rory: Keep going.
Dean: What?
Rory: Turn it over.
Dean: What?
Rory: Keep going. You have like three more 'whats' ahead of you.

221: Lorelai's Graduation Day

Lorelai: Just explain the concept one more time.
Dean: And be mocked again? No thank you.
Rory: Come on!

Lorelai: Hey, if you get really good do you move on to other animals? Like clay chicken and clay sheep?
Dean: You know what, we didn't go skeet shooting. I just made it all up.

222: I Can't Get Started

Rory: How are your pancakes?
Dean: Good.
Rory: Good or really good?
Dean: Good.
Rory: So not really good?
Dean: Fine, really good.
Rory: Okay…But are they great?
Dean: Rory, would you perhaps like to trade breakfasts?
Rory: You mean your pancakes for my eggs.
Dean: Yep.
Rory: Um, okay…Wow you're crazy these pancakes are great!

Dean: So how many cocktails caused that?
Rory: Oh they haven't had any cocktails yet.
Dean: Really?
Rory: Oh yeah. When they start having cocktails we're going to have to hide you.
Dean: I'm looking forward to that.